Zodiac Signs as Dating App Bios

The flirty, the chaotic, the ones who overshare, and the ones who ghost before the first message.

Aries

“Swipe right if you can handle spontaneous road trips, competitive mini golf, and me picking the restaurant before you even open the app.”

Taurus

“Looking for someone to share my life, my Hulu login, and my emergency stash of rosemary focaccia and triple-cream brie. Must respect blanket boundaries.”

Gemini

“Currently flirting in three languages and two time zones. If you can’t keep up, I’ll explain it later—in a podcast you didn’t know I had.”

Cancer

“Big spoon energy. I’ll remember your cat’s name, your childhood wound, and your Starbucks order. Let’s never leave the house.”

Leo

“Yes, I’m extra. Yes, I expect flowers. Yes, I’ve already imagined our first fight and what I’ll wear during it.”

Virgo

“I clean for fun, overthink for sport, and will need to see how you organize your apps before we secure a second date.”

Libra

“Professionally charming. Will fall in love halfway through a Negroni. Must own matching glassware and text in complete sentences.”

Scorpio

“Deep eye contact required. Conversation optional.”

Sagittarius

“Flirt. Vanish. Reappear with a sunburn and a wild story. I’m emotionally available… from this Tuesday through next Thursday.”

Capricorn

“Romance isn’t dead, it’s just scheduled. I’ll show up on time, dress appropriately, and love you like a well-structured business acquisition.”

Aquarius

“Romantic, but in a 'shared Google Doc of love poems' way. Don’t ask me what I’m feeling because I’m not done with my dissertation on it yet.”

Pisces

“I just want to fall in love at a gas station and write a novella about it. Let’s cry to music and pretend it’s fate.”