Zodiac Signs as Brunch Orders

Nothing says “astrological truth” like eggs, carbs, and light social chaos.

Aries

Spicy Bloody Mary and whatever comes out fastest. Fork in hand before you’ve sat down.

Taurus

French toast with extra whipped cream, side of bacon, and a croissant to-go.

Gemini

Avocado toast, two lattes, three conversation topics. Still takes bites between monologues.

Cancer

Stack of pancakes. Side of jam. Side of feelings. May or may not have cried during the menu reading.

Leo

Bottomless mimosas. Citrus manicure to match. Already asked the server to take a group photo.

Virgo

Poached eggs, gluten-free toast, sub arugula for hash browns, dressing on the side. Apologizes for the order. Doesn’t mean it.

Libra

Can’t decide. Orders what you’re having and insists on sharing. Somehow gets the prettier plate.

Scorpio

Black coffee, steak and eggs, sunglasses indoors. Says they’re “not that hungry.”

Sagittarius

Breakfast burrito, tequila sunrise, and a story about the time they had this in Peru.

Capricorn

Oatmeal. One egg. One coffee. One disapproving glance at the brunch bill.

Aquarius

Chia pudding, turmeric latte, and a heated defense of the merits of jackfruit bacon.

Pisces

Waffles, whipped cream, fruit that looks like hearts. Stares dreamily into their mimosa like it’s a portal.